christmas 2015.

It most definitely is the most wonderful time of the year! I love getting to be home from college for the holidays. Being with every member of my family is truly the greatest gift. It doesn't matter what is under the tree or how many people bought me presents. All that matters is being with my family and remembering the birth of our Savior. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father sent his son to earth so we could all return to our home in heaven. This Christmas season has encouraged me to reflect on the daily gifts I can give back to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Serving those around me is the most important thing I can be doing to show Heavenly Father and my brothers and sisters my love for them. Our love, time, and selflessness are the most precious gifts we can give. I encourage everyone to forget themselves and focus on others. Doing that is what brings the magic back into the holiday season and makes the whole year magical too. Anyways, I made a Christmas video again! I love getting to have our family traditions and moments like these on video, so we can watch them and remember the fun times we have together. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

usu round two.

I signed up last spring to live in The Factory for this school year but two weeks before the move in date they told us they wouldn't be built in time. This caused a gigantic crisis and hundreds of students are now left without a place to live, so I am so so so SO lucky that I found this place. I get my own room and own bathroom this year, so that's super awesome. I love decorating and making a space feel homey. I'm sure I'll collect more stuff as the year goes on, but for now this is what my room is looking like:

It's super weird to be on my second year of college! I feel like I'm supposed to be in high school still. This place is a normal apartment complex and not student housing, so I've had to be more "adulty" with setting everything up. I've learned that as you get older the number of phone calls you have to make to strangers increases, and that is something I'm really not looking forward to for my future. This year I'm officially in the Teacher Education Program so all of my classes will be relevant and more interesting than generals haha. I'm super excited to finally start down my chosen career path. Caroline is at BYU-I now, so I'm missing her sleeping one foot away from me. I can't wait for all our fun visits and Skype dates and love letters. So if anyone knows of any people looking for a friend... hello I am here and I am lonely haha. Anyways, I'm super jazzed for this new year and hopefully it is filled with great things!

I'M GOING TO AFRICA

All my life it has been very obvious that I have gravitated toward children. Not saying I've always been a complete natural with kids, but I have always loved and valued my relationships with the children I've been able to work with. Through the years I have been a babysitter, a preschool teacher, a classroom intern, a nanny, a daycare worker, etc. All these things have shaped my mentality towards children and the value of education. When I was 16 I went on a service trip to Romania where I got to work with fostered children. That incredible experience really showed me how education helps aide children to become happier and more independent. Education is a big part of becoming your best self. This gift of education is something we in America can take for granted. I know I wasn't super jazzed to be going to school as a kid (ok and as an adult) but really having the opportunity to go to school is such an amazing blessing. A blessing that many around the world do not have.

For years I've wanted desperately to go do another service trip. This is obviously something that takes a lot of planning and financial stability, which as a college student isn't really realistic. Regardless of all the limitations, I started researching my options around the month of May. I started praying and fasting for the guidance and ability to make a smart decision. At the time I was mostly thinking that of course I would love to go travel and help people, but just because I can doesn't mean I should. Spending that much money is a big commitment that could be used for other expenses in my life. I kept debating back and forth about what I should do, but through the power of the spirit I was able to find clarity and make a decision.

*drum roll*

Next summer I will be going to Tanzania! I will be going with a program called Cross Cultural Solutions, and I will be there from May 21-July 2. So a total of 6 weeks. I can not even describe to you how overjoyed I am about this opportunity. I will be working with children who live in areas that don't have the resources to provide them with a quality education. Hopefully I will be able to help them learn and grow as a person. I will be there to help teach them but most importantly to help them feel loved. I know that I am supposed to go to Tanzania. I know there are people there who will change my life and who will teach me things I couldn't learn anywhere else. I know Heavenly Father is supporting this decision and will be by my side through it all. This wasn't an easy choice for me to make since it is such a big financial commitment, but I know the blessings that will come from this are far beyond the temporal satisfaction of money. I already love the people of Tanzania, and I haven't even met them. I can't wait to get out there and go to work!

Since I am now in desperate need of all the money I can get, I would like to ask a favor of you fellow friends. Most of you know that I have a photography business (emilyjean-photo.blogspot.com) and that is how I earn a lot of my income. It would be such a dream for me if I was able to increase my business and support myself financially through this experience. So what I am asking is for you guys to promote the heck out of me. Most of my business comes from word of mouth, and that really just leaves me to rely on the people I know. I would love love love it if you guys could refer me to your family and friends or you know, strangers you see on the streets. Give them my web address or my email or my phone number or my Instagram or whatever. I have business cards that I would love to hand out to people who want them or want to share them with people they know. Literally just give my name out to anyone and everyone. I would really appreciate the extra support!

Anyways, I am just so overwhelmed with joy and excitement for this new adventure in my life! I know I'm not leaving until May but I've already got the countdown going on my phone haha. Thanks for those who have helped me make this decision and who have supported me through it all. I love life so dang much right now. I hope you all love life too. It's literally the best.

summer update.

I feel like it has been 10 years since I last blogged...it was really only 2 months ago but still. Summer zooms by so fast, and I feel like I forget a lot of it most years. This summer I am working as a nanny for a family in South Jordan. There are three children: 5, 3, and 8 months. It is only 3 days a week, but 10-12 hour days, so the hours are still pretty good! They are crazy and wonderful and never stop talking haha. They are the greatest, and I feel way lucky to be looking after such happy, enthusiastic kids. We do a ton of activities out of the house which helps the long hours go by faster. We are big fans of splash pads and the swimming pool. Lots of sprinklers and slip n slides and water fights. We also like to go to the movies,  the jump and bounce, the Tracy Aviary, and to get snow cones. I still don't have a real understanding of what being a mother is like, but I feel a little more exposed to the experience. Mothers are awesome. I'm only with them 36 hours a week, and I feel like I'm always running out of crafts to do or games to play. High five to all the mothers out there who have managed to stay alive with their 24/7 duties. I am also still doing lots of photography! That has kept me busy on the days I'm not nannying. It gets a little overwhelming sometimes, but generally I've been having an easy breezy summer. I get to do things I love for money. What's better than that? I'm going back to Utah State in the fall, which I'm so jazzed for. Being away from Logan has made me appreciate how great that town is. I mean SLC will always be my one true love, but Logan ain't a bad second. I am currently in the process of applying to the Early Childhood Education program. My final interview is next week, and then I'll find out sometime in August if I got accepted. They only take 50 (or 60 I don't remember) applicants and lots apply, so I'm not expecting anything! Just really hopeful. Fingers crossed! Also my social life is pretty nonexistent since everyone my age and their dog is either on a mission or married. (WHICH IS SO INSANE AND WEIRD TO ME! HOW AM I THIS AGE?) So I am excited to go back to college where I'll still probably not be social, but at least the opportunities will be more available haha. This summer my old roommate from last year, Kiana, has been living in the little apartment attached to my house. It has been way fun to have a friend so close by! We both work so it's hard to coordinate our free time, but hanging with her has been so great. She brought her cat with her which is even more great. I've been going to lots and lots of concerts, which is really all I ever want to do with my free time. All things considered, Utah has a pretty good music scene which I have taken full advantage of since I was 16 haha. Also, my siblings and I got Lagoon passes this year so we've been going to Lagoon a lot! Ok can we just talk about how Cannibal is not as intense as it looks. It's fun and one of their best roller coasters but the first time was a little under whelming haha. Dip n dots are still the bomb. And still over priced. This summer I have really gotten into attending art festivals and the farmer's market. I suggest to anyone near this area to go to these type of things! Seriously, Salt Lake has so many cool things to do in the summer. I've gotten so many cool clothes and jewelry and food and art this summer and it's not even over yet! Really cool people live here, and it has been awesome to meet so many talented homies. Alright well that's my boring summer. I hope everyone is partying it up and getting tan/skin cancer and eating their weight in popsicles, because that's what summer is all about.

freshman year video.

So we have been out of school for awhile now, but I just never got around to posting this. I made a little video for Caroline with memories from our first year of college. I really couldn't have asked for a better person to spend my freshman year with. Caroline has decided to go to BYU-I in the fall, and I'm so excited for her. However, I'm extremely sad that I won't get to live with my best friend anymore. Having this be the only time we will have lived together made every day special and important. I am so grateful for everything Care has taught me and everything we have experienced together. We are going to make the cutest little pen pals as we keep our long distance relationship alive. I'm going to miss being roommates, but we won't ever stop being family. I'm way excited for our next adventures, and I'm grateful to have her in my life no matter what.

Disclaimer: The video contains REALLY ugly pictures. Like really bad. Don't judge. It also contains several middle fingers...again...don't judge. We are still good people.

what i've learned.

HELLO! It has been a long time since I've last posted, and I'm kind of bummed about it because there have been some fun times that I haven't documented. Journaling is important, folks. Anyways, I only have 15 more days until I am completely done with my first year of college! It is insane. I honestly feel like I just moved here, and now I'm about to move out. I am so ready to be done with classes, but I am going to miss living with Caroline and my other roomies. Since I have been pretty nostalgic this month as the end is coming near, I have really spent some time reflecting on everything that has gone on this year. I know I'm still really young and naive, but I feel like I have learned a few things about myself and life. If you are a senior in high school right now I would recommend writing this stuff down because it will help you, I promise.

Things Emily Has Learned

1. College isn't that hard. I was freaked out of my mind to start college. I was scared to move away form home, to take harder classes, to buy my own groceries, to live with strangers...just everything. I was so overwhelmed by the newness of it all and by how much of my life was out of my control, but it honestly ended up being just fine. If you were like me and took a ton of honors, AP, and CE classes in high school then you will totally be ready for college classes. I still have had to work my butt off and try way hard, but it wasn't anything I wasn't capable of. I was lucky enough to live so close to my siblings and not too far away from my parents. I ended up seeing my family way more than most pepole get to, so honestly I only had time to miss my cat. College is too fun to miss home anyways, plus you gain a nice support system here if you are someone who gets home sick.

2. Let go of the little things. Living with roommate has definetly taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Obviously this is something that I can still work on, but I am way better at it then I was before. Learn to prioritize what you get frustrated at. Like yes it is super annoying if your roomate doesn't do their dishes or someone eats your newly purchased tub of cookie dough, but is making a big deal out of it really worth it? You have to live with these people and if you are constantly being bothered by the little things, you are not going to enjoy your life. Learn to let things slide and accept the mistakes of others because we all make them.

3. Learn who you are. Now I know you can't really put a time table on self actualization, but if possible try to learn who you are like now. Haha, I know we are always changing and growing and always learning new things about ourselves, but if you take genuine time to understand who you are and who you want to be then you are going to be way better off. At college I have seen a bunch of lost people making stupid decisions and losing control of their lives becasue they never really had a plan. They haven't quite yet figured out who they are. If you know your morals, your goals, your boundaries, your characteristics, and your motives, then you are more likely to make rational decisions that fit within the life you want. I honestly don't know a ton about life or people or anything, but I do know who I am and where I want to go. That has helped me so much this year.

4. Be happy with right now. I say this is something I learned, but honestly I suck at this. I struggle way hard with being anxious for the future and negative abou the present. I'm always like oh man I'd be happier if I were just graduated, or I'll be happier once I'm married or I can finally be happy once this trial goes away and blah blah blah. The reality is I'm never going to be happy if I just don't learn to love every stage of my life. Being a teacher and a wife and a mom all sound like more fufilling roles than just being a student, but that's where I am in life right now. There are so many great and exciting things about being this young and independent. I blame Pinterest and Instagram for making me so eager to fall in love and have cute babies when I'm way too young to be thinking about those things haha. I'm learning to love every day and every part of this time in my life. It's good to plan ahead and prepare for the things you want for your future, but don't forget to take time to enjoy the present. We won't be able to get anywhere if you don't take advantage of right now.

5. Take care of yourself. This was kind of a weird thing I learned that I have never really thought of before. Right now I should be the most important person in my life. I'm not trying to sound super like self centered or anything, but it's kind of just true. I'm the type of person who tends to want other people to be happy even if it isn't what would make me the happiest...I'm sure most humans who want to be good people are this way as well. In general that is a good selfless characteristic, but sometimes you've just gotta do your own thing. This year has been full of watching others make big decisions and me making big decisions. When it comes to important things in life, you have to put yourself first right now. Obviously it's different when you have like a spouse and children, but for me that's how it needs to be. I need to be close to the Lord and make decisions that he wants for me, even if it may inconveniece others. That has been a challenging thing for me to learn, because it kind of goes against everything I've been before. But it's true...take care of yourself. Be a good person and considerate and understanding, but take care of you. Also going along with this message: get enough freaking sleep, don't do drugs, buy healthy food, drink a lot of water, don't go to sketchy parties, and clean your room. Ok ya...just treat yourself right.

I'm way grateful for my first year of college. It failed some of my expectations, but exceeded some of my others. Everyone will have a different experience with life so don't really have a set idea in your head. Life is great and wonderful, even if it isn't what you wanted it to be. I'm super excited for next year and all good times it's going to bring me. My little room of 305 will always be so dear to my heart. I have shared so many tender/hilaroius memories with my rommates in that little apartment of ours, and I'm so blessed because of that. I better soak in these last two weeks, becasue I already miss it.

blessed.

I am just feeling really overwhelmed with gratitude right now, and I feel that it would be selfish of me not to write it down. I have the most beautiful life. I have an incredible family, incredible friends, and incredible opportunities. I, as well as most of you, have days where the world seems so suffocating, dark, and heavy. My life has been full of hard things, especially this last year, but I'm coming to realize how lovelier those things have made it. I now more fully understand how much I really don't understand. We think we are in control of our lives and that we know exactly what we're doing, but that's when the Lord steps in and kindly shows us we need some humbling. He is the only one who truly understands and the only one who is truly in control. On those days when my life seems so cloudy, it's relieving to turn to the Lord for simple clarity. Parts of my life don't make sense and sometimes I wish I was a different person with different trials, but I'm still grateful for everyday I have experienced. Life is just so confusing and magical and limitless that it hurts my head sometimes. Heavenly Father loves me so much. He loves you so much. You're life is so awesome, regardless your circumstances and I really really hope you know that. If you don't know that, I challenge you to learn that concept because it will change you. It's so important to look at the beauty in everything, especially when it's easiest not to. Everything in our life can be an opportunity to better ourselves, and if that doesn't show you how amazing this life is then I don't know what will. I really just want to wrap my arms around my life right now and thank it for being so weird and challenging and exciting and radiant. Everyone just go hug your moms or go pet a puppy because life is just so perfect! Ok, that's all. Here's a picture of a mountain.