i'm here.

Jambo, friends!

I have been in the beautiful country of Tanzania for over a week now. It honestly feels like it has been so much longer tho. A lot of unfortunate and unexpected events have occurred during my time here like getting my luggage lost for 3 days, having my credit card canceled when it got eaten by an ATM, and having my dear grandmother pass away. Through all these not so fun things I have been able to remain happy simply because this country is just SO happy. Everyone here is incredibly friendly, and they all have the shiniest faces I've ever seen. It's considered rude if you don't say hello to everyone you pass on the streets. The Swahili greeting in a casual setting is "mambo", which means "what's up", and the response is "poa", which means "cool". I feel very lucky to be in a place that promotes such positivity and kindness. It has really made this whole adjustment easy breezy. I honestly haven't had any emotional break downs and haven't felt home sick, so that's good. I'm sure I'll feel differently in a couple weeks haha.

Alright so my average day here in Moshi starts with a lovely breakfast at 6:30 am (lol it's the worst I hate mornings), then all the volunteers go to their work placements. I am currently at a nursery school called Kilimahewa, but the placements in the house also include working at the hospital, at a public health research center, a woman's empowerment center, and other primary schools. After work we come back home to eat and in the evenings we have a cultural activity. These types of activities include Swahili lessons, guest speakers, cultural norm lessons, arts and crafts, and more. My favorite guest speaker so far was someone from the board of education who came to answer questions about the education system here. I am going to rant for two seconds about the education system in Tanzania, if you don't care go ahead and skip this part haha.

*entering rant* Ok so the education system here has some pretty big issues. As far as I understand the way public education is set up is primary school (ages 5-14), secondary school (ages 14-18) and then college or technical training. The test you must take to get into secondary school is administered in English... but get this...they don't teach English in primary school. A student has 3 months between primary school and the entrance exam for secondary school to learn English on their own time. AND you can only take the entrance exam one time. If you fail it you have to find another thing to do with your life or pay to privately take the exam again as an independent party which is apparently super expensive and people don't have the money for that. This is a big reason why so many people here are uneducated and live in poverty, because most of them can't even get into high school. The government recognizes this as an issue, but they don't know what to do about it. They don't want to get rid of Swahili because that is a huge reason why Tanzania is so unified and language is a huge part of culture, but they also can't get rid of English because they recognize that as the business language and most advanced textbooks can't be translated from English to Swahili. I don't know what they are going to do, but it is definitely sad to see so many children dying to learn English when none of their teachers speak English. So ya, there's that. *exiting rant*

After our cultural activity we eat dinner and go to bed. I have been falling asleep at like 9 pm every night because these days make me so exhausted haha. It's kind of nice to have a strict schedule, but at the same time I miss getting to wake up after the sun is already out and getting to take naps haha.

So back to my work placement- Kilimahewa. That place is such a dream. I have SO much fun every day. It is a nursery school for children ages like 2-7. I swear I still don't understand how the ages at this place work haha. At first I thought it was for 3-5 but then I met a 2 year old and a 7 year old, so I really have no idea haha. There are 70+ students and 2 teachers. On average only 60 students come, but that varies depending on the weather. On bad weather days a lot of children don't show up because they have to walk to school alone and obviously a 4 year old isn't going to do that if it's raining. There are a lot of good things about this school and a lot of not so good things. The good thing is that the two teachers, Loucas and Linduh, love teaching and they love their students. They really put a lot of energy into the class and you can tell they truly care. However, the way some things are taught and administered are super inappropriate and ineffective. The split the class into three sections, the babies, the middles, and the older. The first red flag here is that they aren't divided by performance but by age instead. The teacher will give one or two sections of the class a task (9/10 times this means a worksheet. For 4 year olds. Real appropriate.) and then will leave the other part of the class with nothing to do. They teacher expects the rest of the children to sit with their heads on the desk while the other students do their worksheet. This obviously doesn't fly when there are 70 students shoved together on a bench with nothing to do. It leads to a lot of fights, a lot of noise, and a lot of stress. The teacher also never explains the worksheet or test before handing it out so then we have to go around to each individual student and explain it to them...in English...when they speak Swahili. You can see the issues here. Another worrying thing I've seen is the way they do tests. They hand the test out and come around to each student and erase their incorrect answers to put in the right one. So basically they just let the students try to do the test, but then fix the whole thing for them anyways. How are the teachers supposed to know what the students do and do not know if they aren't even looking at their actual answers? I don't know if they are trying to make their school look better or get more funding by changing their test scores or what. All I know is that I get in trouble when I let a child put the wrong answer like a teacher should. It's kind of frustrating. Another weird thing is that Kilimahewa is a private school. This means that this school is supposed to be nicer and higher quality than public schools. Guys, this school doesn't even have lined paper, books, or erasers. I can't even begin to imagine what condition the public schools are in. Even though my work is tiring and seemingly ineffective, I love it and feel so blessed to be there everyday.

I feel like there are a million things I have learned and experienced already, but I don't know how to put it all into words. I'll just try to make a list of some things I have liked and things I haven't liked. Things I've Liked: eating avocados and sugar bananas at every meal, children screaming "mzungu" (white person) at us when we walk down the street, the gorgeous jungle we live in, drinking freshly squeezed mango juice in the mornings, the way people smile here (it's different I tell ya), the really hot teacher I work with, learning new words everyday, the friend's I've mad at the house, the way my name sounds in an African accent, and the little kiddos who are my friends even when I can't teach them as well as I'd like.Things I Haven't Liked: sleeping under a mosquito net every night (I've named him Phil), the loud monkeys and birds outside my window, having to brush my teeth with bottled water, the cold and small showers, the fact that I have very limited knowledge in Swahili, the non-perforated toilet paper!!!!!!!!!, having to drive down the bumpiest dirt roads known to man, and not being on the same time zone as my friends and family.

I have had a lot of time to think while I've been here. Haha I suppose that's what happens when you have no TV or reliable WiFi. But I have had a lot of time to think of how truly lucky I am. I feel like a lot of American volunteers would come to Africa and feel "blessed" because they have hot showers and nice clothes...which I do feel blessed for having, but that's not what I think when I see Tanzania. I don't look at these people and think how "unfortunate" they must be because they don't have the things I have. They are totally happy here. People need to know that. Just because our country is "developed" and theirs is "developing", it doesn't mean we are better. Everyone is equal and everyone has potential. Yes there are a lot of sad things I have to witness everyday, like children with no shoes and worms in their bellies, but these people also have so much that I don't. The people here have so much love and passion for life. There is so much unconditional happiness here that I have never felt in America. I don't feel lucky because I feel bad for their differences in living conditions, I feel lucky because I get to experience such a beautiful place. I am lucky to share with the people in Moshi the things that I have while they share with me the things that they have. I have the privilege of leaving my bubble in Utah and getting to feel and learn things that are only available through travel. I feel so lucky to meet these people and learn from their way of life, which is much more simple than mine. There are just a lot of things that are changing my life in the most basic ways, and that is the best feeling in the world. I love life, I love new things, and I love Africa.

Our super hot, SINGLE, teacher Loucas

cruisin'.

Several months ago I started planning a vacation with my two best friends, and we decided on a cruise. It was super affordable and easy for three young adults to pull off and it looked super fun. After we worked out all the traveling details and money issues we tried booking our tickets...and guess what...we couldn't because none of us were 21. I understand why cruise lines wouldn't want a bunch of teenagers running around unsupervised, but like we are somewhat adults (kind of not really but kind of). If I am expected to pay taxes and live on my own and can vote for the president of the United States of America, then I should dang well be allowed to go on a freaking cruise. Ok well anyways we ended up inviting my parents, which wasn't a bad option. I love traveling with them anyways so it was a win-win haha. They stayed in a separate room on the other side of the boat, and it was nice having them around to be responsible when we didn't want to be haha. The cruise was so so so fun. It was really stormy the whole time so the waves were massive. People were throwing up and falling down all over the place haha. I loved the cruise, but I probably couldn't have handled a longer one. None of us threw up, but we all were super dizzy the whole time. However, it was so fun just to be able to eat whenever and club all night and have unlimited entertainment. Catalina Island and Ensenada, Mexico were both so fun and so different. Catalina Island was warm and sunny and so cute. We got to drive golf carts around the island, stroll through the little shops and go on a glass bottom boat. That place is seriously the cutest little vacation spot. The whole island just looks like a post card haha. We knew Ensenada was going to be rainy, so we started with zip lining early in the morning to avoid the rain. It was incredible! Throughout the zip lines were rope courses that were actually kind of scary and hard to do. My friend hates heights, and they were definitely high, so I was super impressed she did them without too much hesitation haha. It was gorgeous to be over some pretty lakes and through the canopies of the mountains. The weather was completely downhill from there. It poured. And I mean poured. The streets were flooding like crazy and every layer of our clothes were soaked. It honestly looked like we all jumped in a swimming pool. We got to go to a blow hole (don't remember what it was called opps) and walk down a street (more like river) that had cute little shops and foods. It would have been so fun to be able to spend more time looking through the stores, but we couldn't even see because of how bad it was raining haha. It wasn't the day we expected, but it was so much fun. We couldn't stop laughing the whole time at how crazy it was.  It was one of those experiences that I'll remember forever. Getting drenched on in Mexico with my two best friends haha. We also got to eat some delicious Mexican food at a tiny hole in the wall restaurant. My favorite part was their tortilla soup. We've all been craving it since haha. Anyways, I made a little vacation video of the trip. Obviously Mexico is poorly documented because of the rain, but I'm still glad I have these memories on video. Going on a cruise with your best friends is definitely a good time. I miss it already!

christmas 2015.

It most definitely is the most wonderful time of the year! I love getting to be home from college for the holidays. Being with every member of my family is truly the greatest gift. It doesn't matter what is under the tree or how many people bought me presents. All that matters is being with my family and remembering the birth of our Savior. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father sent his son to earth so we could all return to our home in heaven. This Christmas season has encouraged me to reflect on the daily gifts I can give back to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Serving those around me is the most important thing I can be doing to show Heavenly Father and my brothers and sisters my love for them. Our love, time, and selflessness are the most precious gifts we can give. I encourage everyone to forget themselves and focus on others. Doing that is what brings the magic back into the holiday season and makes the whole year magical too. Anyways, I made a Christmas video again! I love getting to have our family traditions and moments like these on video, so we can watch them and remember the fun times we have together. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

usu round two.

I signed up last spring to live in The Factory for this school year but two weeks before the move in date they told us they wouldn't be built in time. This caused a gigantic crisis and hundreds of students are now left without a place to live, so I am so so so SO lucky that I found this place. I get my own room and own bathroom this year, so that's super awesome. I love decorating and making a space feel homey. I'm sure I'll collect more stuff as the year goes on, but for now this is what my room is looking like:

It's super weird to be on my second year of college! I feel like I'm supposed to be in high school still. This place is a normal apartment complex and not student housing, so I've had to be more "adulty" with setting everything up. I've learned that as you get older the number of phone calls you have to make to strangers increases, and that is something I'm really not looking forward to for my future. This year I'm officially in the Teacher Education Program so all of my classes will be relevant and more interesting than generals haha. I'm super excited to finally start down my chosen career path. Caroline is at BYU-I now, so I'm missing her sleeping one foot away from me. I can't wait for all our fun visits and Skype dates and love letters. So if anyone knows of any people looking for a friend... hello I am here and I am lonely haha. Anyways, I'm super jazzed for this new year and hopefully it is filled with great things!

I'M GOING TO AFRICA

All my life it has been very obvious that I have gravitated toward children. Not saying I've always been a complete natural with kids, but I have always loved and valued my relationships with the children I've been able to work with. Through the years I have been a babysitter, a preschool teacher, a classroom intern, a nanny, a daycare worker, etc. All these things have shaped my mentality towards children and the value of education. When I was 16 I went on a service trip to Romania where I got to work with fostered children. That incredible experience really showed me how education helps aide children to become happier and more independent. Education is a big part of becoming your best self. This gift of education is something we in America can take for granted. I know I wasn't super jazzed to be going to school as a kid (ok and as an adult) but really having the opportunity to go to school is such an amazing blessing. A blessing that many around the world do not have.

For years I've wanted desperately to go do another service trip. This is obviously something that takes a lot of planning and financial stability, which as a college student isn't really realistic. Regardless of all the limitations, I started researching my options around the month of May. I started praying and fasting for the guidance and ability to make a smart decision. At the time I was mostly thinking that of course I would love to go travel and help people, but just because I can doesn't mean I should. Spending that much money is a big commitment that could be used for other expenses in my life. I kept debating back and forth about what I should do, but through the power of the spirit I was able to find clarity and make a decision.

*drum roll*

Next summer I will be going to Tanzania! I will be going with a program called Cross Cultural Solutions, and I will be there from May 21-July 2. So a total of 6 weeks. I can not even describe to you how overjoyed I am about this opportunity. I will be working with children who live in areas that don't have the resources to provide them with a quality education. Hopefully I will be able to help them learn and grow as a person. I will be there to help teach them but most importantly to help them feel loved. I know that I am supposed to go to Tanzania. I know there are people there who will change my life and who will teach me things I couldn't learn anywhere else. I know Heavenly Father is supporting this decision and will be by my side through it all. This wasn't an easy choice for me to make since it is such a big financial commitment, but I know the blessings that will come from this are far beyond the temporal satisfaction of money. I already love the people of Tanzania, and I haven't even met them. I can't wait to get out there and go to work!

Since I am now in desperate need of all the money I can get, I would like to ask a favor of you fellow friends. Most of you know that I have a photography business (emilyjean-photo.blogspot.com) and that is how I earn a lot of my income. It would be such a dream for me if I was able to increase my business and support myself financially through this experience. So what I am asking is for you guys to promote the heck out of me. Most of my business comes from word of mouth, and that really just leaves me to rely on the people I know. I would love love love it if you guys could refer me to your family and friends or you know, strangers you see on the streets. Give them my web address or my email or my phone number or my Instagram or whatever. I have business cards that I would love to hand out to people who want them or want to share them with people they know. Literally just give my name out to anyone and everyone. I would really appreciate the extra support!

Anyways, I am just so overwhelmed with joy and excitement for this new adventure in my life! I know I'm not leaving until May but I've already got the countdown going on my phone haha. Thanks for those who have helped me make this decision and who have supported me through it all. I love life so dang much right now. I hope you all love life too. It's literally the best.

summer update.

I feel like it has been 10 years since I last blogged...it was really only 2 months ago but still. Summer zooms by so fast, and I feel like I forget a lot of it most years. This summer I am working as a nanny for a family in South Jordan. There are three children: 5, 3, and 8 months. It is only 3 days a week, but 10-12 hour days, so the hours are still pretty good! They are crazy and wonderful and never stop talking haha. They are the greatest, and I feel way lucky to be looking after such happy, enthusiastic kids. We do a ton of activities out of the house which helps the long hours go by faster. We are big fans of splash pads and the swimming pool. Lots of sprinklers and slip n slides and water fights. We also like to go to the movies,  the jump and bounce, the Tracy Aviary, and to get snow cones. I still don't have a real understanding of what being a mother is like, but I feel a little more exposed to the experience. Mothers are awesome. I'm only with them 36 hours a week, and I feel like I'm always running out of crafts to do or games to play. High five to all the mothers out there who have managed to stay alive with their 24/7 duties. I am also still doing lots of photography! That has kept me busy on the days I'm not nannying. It gets a little overwhelming sometimes, but generally I've been having an easy breezy summer. I get to do things I love for money. What's better than that? I'm going back to Utah State in the fall, which I'm so jazzed for. Being away from Logan has made me appreciate how great that town is. I mean SLC will always be my one true love, but Logan ain't a bad second. I am currently in the process of applying to the Early Childhood Education program. My final interview is next week, and then I'll find out sometime in August if I got accepted. They only take 50 (or 60 I don't remember) applicants and lots apply, so I'm not expecting anything! Just really hopeful. Fingers crossed! Also my social life is pretty nonexistent since everyone my age and their dog is either on a mission or married. (WHICH IS SO INSANE AND WEIRD TO ME! HOW AM I THIS AGE?) So I am excited to go back to college where I'll still probably not be social, but at least the opportunities will be more available haha. This summer my old roommate from last year, Kiana, has been living in the little apartment attached to my house. It has been way fun to have a friend so close by! We both work so it's hard to coordinate our free time, but hanging with her has been so great. She brought her cat with her which is even more great. I've been going to lots and lots of concerts, which is really all I ever want to do with my free time. All things considered, Utah has a pretty good music scene which I have taken full advantage of since I was 16 haha. Also, my siblings and I got Lagoon passes this year so we've been going to Lagoon a lot! Ok can we just talk about how Cannibal is not as intense as it looks. It's fun and one of their best roller coasters but the first time was a little under whelming haha. Dip n dots are still the bomb. And still over priced. This summer I have really gotten into attending art festivals and the farmer's market. I suggest to anyone near this area to go to these type of things! Seriously, Salt Lake has so many cool things to do in the summer. I've gotten so many cool clothes and jewelry and food and art this summer and it's not even over yet! Really cool people live here, and it has been awesome to meet so many talented homies. Alright well that's my boring summer. I hope everyone is partying it up and getting tan/skin cancer and eating their weight in popsicles, because that's what summer is all about.

freshman year video.

So we have been out of school for awhile now, but I just never got around to posting this. I made a little video for Caroline with memories from our first year of college. I really couldn't have asked for a better person to spend my freshman year with. Caroline has decided to go to BYU-I in the fall, and I'm so excited for her. However, I'm extremely sad that I won't get to live with my best friend anymore. Having this be the only time we will have lived together made every day special and important. I am so grateful for everything Care has taught me and everything we have experienced together. We are going to make the cutest little pen pals as we keep our long distance relationship alive. I'm going to miss being roommates, but we won't ever stop being family. I'm way excited for our next adventures, and I'm grateful to have her in my life no matter what.

Disclaimer: The video contains REALLY ugly pictures. Like really bad. Don't judge. It also contains several middle fingers...again...don't judge. We are still good people.